Its Been on My Mind Lately...When a Heart Breaks It Doesn't Break Even

Some people touch your heart differently then others. Usually you don't realize how they touched you until after they are gone. Then you realize that when they vanished from your life they took a piece of your heart with them, and it is hard to live with a chunk of your heart missing. When someone you care about walks out on you it makes you wonder if it was something you did or if maybe it was all a lie. Were they just playing with your heart and seeing how far they could get with you or was it all a joke? Somethings we may never really know. Its hard to get over a heartbreak no matter if you dated them for years, months, weeks, days or you never actually dated. It gets a little easier the longer they are gone, but it is hard to forget. Everything starts to remind you of the person you lost and makes the pain return. When hearts break they don't break evenly it seems; one person in the relationship lives with the heart break and the other goes on with life like nothing ever happened. Its easier for some people to get over heartbreaks then it is for others and for those who can't get it over as fast have to live with the pain of the person they cared for and lost. 

Lean on Him When Your Not Strong

Some days I feel like tomorrow will never come. Like this day will just go one forever and I may never know what will come next. I feel as if its just one blow after the other trying to knock me down and try to make me want to give up. I am human and I have struggles; a lot of struggles to be honest. I know that if I didn't have God to lean on I don't think I would make it. Without God my days would never end; they would just become one very long and intolerable day. I know a lot of people take struggles and problems that arise through out the day as something bad, but for me a trial is a blessing in disguise. I may not realize it at the time, but after it is all over and behind me I realize that is has made me stronger. To me trials are Gods way to get us to realize we need him more than anything. He wants us to trust and lean on Him for everything in our lives, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, and every other time that may arise in the journey we call our lives. Many times people, Christians and non-Christians, turn to God only when they are struggling and are having a hard time in their lives or they only turn to Him when their lives are going good. That is not how it should be; we should praise God in every moment of our lives. When I trust God my days are brighter and better then if I try to live my life completely on my own. I can't do anything on my own without it messing up or not turning out correctly, but when I add God into the equation everything becomes easier and  turns out perfectly. Life is full of complications, and weird turn of events that we may never understand, but everything happens for a reason and is according to Gods amazing plan for our lives. 

The Perfect Fit

I have a scar filled heart that has a huge place for God and a special place set aside for the one man God has planned for me. I have these scars because the guys I have tried to get to fill the special place were not the right fit. Instead of making it whole they broke it. My heart it like a delicate puzzle; you put the wrong piece in the whole and it messes it up. I don't want to keep putting the wrong piece in the whole. I am ready to let God put the correct piece in the hole to give me a whole heart. Some wise people have said to me many times that God has the right guy for me and that He will send him when the time is right. Well I am ready to wait. I am realizing that every time I try to fill the hole myself it leads to another heart break. The guy God has planned for me will not break my heart or make me cry. He will be the one worth crying over, the one who thinks I am worth fighting for and the one who loves me for who I am. We will be the missing pieces to the puzzle in each others heart and it will be a perfect fit.

I Don't Want to Go Through the Motions

• A lot has gone on in my life the past week and I have realized that I have not been trusting God with everything in my life. I know that He will provide and and guide me through all aspects in my life from relationship to what I am going to do with my as I go through college and after I graduate. I want to do what He wants me to do and not decide what I want to do on my own. What I want I am beginning to realize is not always/not usually what He wants for me.

• In my quite time today I read Ephesians 5:15-21. Part of it was talking about knowing the will of God for your life. I also read part of my book Crazy Love. The part that I read today was about how we tend to say that we are poor because we do not have as much money as some people do, but the author Francis Chan went on to explain that just buying the book means we are "rich". The cost of the book is as much as some people in some countries make in a week. He made me think about the number of times that I have said I am poor, but then I look at everything that I have in my life and I realize that I am not poor. I have more then what I need in my life, and I tend to not rely on God because I have food, clothes and other earthly items. Another thing that he said in the book was as 'rich' people we have a disadvantage in heaven because when we have the money to buy food, clothes, shelter, and other items we want we don't think that we need God to help us; we think we can be independent and live on our own. But people who do not have the money for those kind of things need to trust God that He will provide for them to help them make it from day to day. 

• In another section of the book Francis talks about a church in the book of colassians that was a bag, God fearing church that did everything that it was supposed to do for the Lord. But in the days of Revelation the people of the church's hearts were not with the Lord even though they were active in the church. They were doing what they were supposed to do, but their hearts were not in it. They were only going through the motions. The last sentence of the paragraph said, "They were comfortable and proud. sound familiar to you?" 

• That made me think...As I was praying I asked what Gods will is for my life. I know that I want to be a music major, but I do not have a minor. There are a lot of different places that I would love to go see, and I have a heart for people. As I was praying God put it on my heart to add missions as a minor. I want to go to the nations and show Gods love to the lost. I realize that i am comfortable here in my life as it is now, and as Christians we are not supposed to be comfortable.